Year zero

Nick Carter is a low-level entertainment lawyer whose workday is interrupted when a mulleted alien and a nun walk into his office. Both are extraterrestrials, and both are in trouble. They need a legal loophole, and they need it before humanity is wiped out.

The trouble began in 1977, when the intergalactic Refined League first heard Earth's pop music, which they named Year Zero. Humans turn out to be the only species in the cosmos with real musical talent. Quintillions of aliens became hopelessly obsessed, and they have been copying songs without paying ever since.

Human copyright law allows damages of up to $150,000 for each illegally copied song. After decades of bootlegging across the universe, the total owed is greater than the value of all matter in existence. Erasing the debt would mean erasing the people it is owed to.

This is a satirical science fiction comedy with a fast, absurd premise. Its targets are copyright law and the music industry, and the humor runs in the vein of Douglas Adams. The visitors are bumbling but powerful, so Nick is working a legal puzzle with the fate of the species hanging on his answer.