MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD ❗

[Xi’s name is Ziad, and it is pronounced as zee-add. Behaim for ben-hime. And his short name is zee. Not Xi for (she)]

(If you have not read this book, sorry but i’m gonna spoil everything for you, or maybe not sorry?😌🤭)

(All jokes aside, please do not read my review, if you haven’t read the book. Peace.)

Plot : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ is there even a 6 star thing? I don’t care. I love this book.
Story : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Spice : 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Rating : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Tropes : strangers to lovers, senator’s daughter, gangster ? Xi is a member of a gang, does poor boy X rich girl count?
Pacing : purrfecttt. Not too fast paced, it’s perfect, I kept turning pages, and loved every second of reading this book.
Characters : i) let’s talk about Alexandra Elisabeth Delacroix. Uh, this woman, she sounded dumb at first, but f•••, did I not love her. I enjoyed reading her povs, and the plot twist at the end, who the f••• knew it was coming? I didn’t even know, I feel bad that the signs were there, and I missed them all. But I truly enjoyed reading her povs, and getting into what she felt.
ii) Xi or Ziad : this man amused me from the start, after the kidnapping and s•••, I was sceptical about liking him, but something told me to keep reading and when I did, oh I loved his darkness, I loved how this man was so baby girl coded when it came to his Alex, and is the same man who killed, and was the supplier of drugs to the stone view girls.
Xi’s character is not complex, I wanted to know what he planned to do after we know that he’s gonna use her. Xi really called her ex “boy” and I absolutely loved that s•••, poor chester had to know his place. Shh. (Chester broke his wrist, and it may or may not have something to do with Xi 👀) He protects her from other boys of north shore, makes sure she eats, cooks for her, listens to Taylor swift’s songs, knowing that she mentally places a taylor’s song to a situation, when she’s anxious, he would go on a war for her, but won’t let her leave him, or break their relationship. The twist is that she tries to orchestrate a whole night so he could kill her father, because she can’t. He does kill him. (I’d prefer if he burned alex’s house with her father in it, before he puts harper’s car on fire for being rude to his girl — Alex. This man is just the right amount of fire and smoke, and tenderness.
iii) alex’s mother, now don’t ask me, I forget her name. But she seemed like she was watching the abuse happen to her daughter without doing anything, she could. But she was stuck with her husband, he would not have let her go, because he needed the money and reputation that came with her reputation. Oh, but 👀 I loved Vincent (wished there was a book for him too) author, do you hear me? Please, please write a book about alex’s mother.
iv) Xi’s household : i’m gonna sum up all the characters, since I don’t want to go into every character, forgetting some details. Zara was the girl I really liked, but she dies at the ending pages of the book, not at the end. I liked Xi’s mother, am curious about his brother Malik’s story. Tamar was a likeable character, and the others were pretty good.

v) I hated senator Delacroix. He deserved to die. Not Alex playing him. She just wanted to be enough. And this man, not a father — would control every f•••••• thing, and relating to that, I f•••••• wanted Xi to end his existence (man delivered 😌) he controlled what she liked, what she wore, what she looked like. Ugh, he infuriated me. Good for him, he’s at a place where he should have been. Xi’s way of talking in that serious tone is also my favourite. Did I forget to mention he purchases a lighter, in pink. (His girl’s favorite colour) ♡

What I loved : I loved the characters, the plot, I was thirsting for each line, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep without finishing this book in one setting. I was irritated at myself for having to eat in between reading. This book was one of the favs, and I knew it when I ordered the paperback, and my intuition was right, I devoured each word out of this book. I want more of this book please. I went into book coma (?) [me wanting more and realizing it’s over]

What I struggled with : nothing. I didn’t struggle with anything. I loved this book too much to care for anything else. I was too emersed, I kept reading from morning to night.

Loveable characters or not : yes, so so so loveable.

Strong character development : yes, we see Alex as a shy good girl, obedient, but oh, the queen she is, and handling everything perfectly, while falling for her kidnapper.

(Now, yes, that scene did disturb me, because Alex was traumatized, after the incident as mentioned in the book, so how did she not recognise him, it won’t just take those three scars for her to know who he was) That scene was a bit disturbing for me. But then again, the book is listed under dark romance, (does it count?) I don’t know, this is my third or fourth dark romance book, and i’m still not sure where I must draw the line. (Feel guilty that I did enjoy as much as Alex did) [Shibal, am I insane?] I shouldn’t be writing this here. But okay, just leaving an honest, or maybe too honest review.

Plot driven / character driven : plot driven, obviously. I was so intently reading every word, trying to figure everything out and failing? Nonetheless, I loved this book.

Favorite quotes/ highlights : there are so many, but i’ll have to come back and write them here. I highlighted the whole damn book, with my pens. Loved the whole book, and the paperback was such good quality, I did not want to leave, kept touching the print as it was a bit uhm— touchable? (I could touch the letters? And the texture of it?)

Any other details : The references made me swoon, ever since I saw this book being super popular, I really wondered what this book was about, they say don’t judge a book by its cover (but I never listen 😬) so, after reading this book and everything clicking in place, I wanted to jump in delight, I was finally able to find something out of the plot, and the story overall.

The lighter on the cover being the reference for Xi always having it, and setting beautiful fires!
The locket being the reference for the necklace alex’s grandmother had given her.

The blood droplets being the reference for the (murders, and killings in the events of the book?)

The hearts drawn in pink, being the reference for Xi falling for Alex. (I could be wrong) 👀

The paintbrush (oh, how I love that scene, so it’s a reference for both : the time they painted while loving each other on the canvas, and Xi being a painter.

The ending? Where Alex decides to love herself, and start finding who she is, without that control freak of her father. Loved it. Where Alex asks her mother to help Xi with his painting career (supportive girlfriend 🤭)

The scene where Vincent keeps checking and staring at Alex’s mother. Oh, yess. Delicious. (Gimme more of their story, is there one? Need to check that out.)

The scene where Xi asks Alex for a Taylor Swift Song, and she says, “Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince. ” with her being the prince and him being miss Americana. Oh, I loved the references, I loved reading this book so much, wished it was like more than 600 pages, i’d devour each and every word.

When I picked this book to read, I thought it was the typical good girl/ bad boy trope, but oh, this book surprised me, and I also learnt some personal lessons that I can’t share here, but this book will go in my awakening list. And I loved it. Thankyou Lola for writing this book, the story keep me awake, even though I should have behaved like a normal person and slept, even though I was tired, I kept reading, because I couldn’t not read it, when my mind kept processing theories about what could happen and with too many “now what” and “what happens next”. I loved, loved, loved, loved this book! Oh, and I think the heartless beloved refers to Alex, as much as it belongs to Xi.